


From Afar

by middayrambling



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Bonding, Gen, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23390845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/middayrambling/pseuds/middayrambling
Summary: After being kidnapped by Slade, Jason's struggling to hold it together. Add to that the return to the prodigal son and there's nothing that Jason can do but wait for Bruce to finally kick him out.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Comments: 1
Kudos: 148





	From Afar

Jason woke with a start. His legs were caught, trapped by the sheets. He was panting, sweaty and out of breath. He couldn’t remember what he had been dreaming about, but it was probably for the best. He never liked to remember them anyway. Looking at the clock, Jason sighed before getting up. 3AM. That was the earliest this week. 

Walking quietly to the kitchen trying not to wake anyone, Jason took a moment to appreciate his situation. He was living with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. They were like his heroes when he was younger. The two of them were like a beacon, shining bright through the poor neighborhoods of Gotham through all of the donations made by the Wayne Foundation. And even after Jason tried to steal Bruce’s tires, he took Jason in. It was crazy, that Bruce thought Jason was good enough for this. But it was okay, Jason would prove that he was. 

Jason grabbed a mug from a cabinet and started filling it with coffee from the pot that he was starting to suspect Alfred made just for him. It was always hot. He’d have to do a better job of hiding his insomnia from everyone. He couldn’t let Bruce think he was weak. Dick got kidnapped like every other week when he was younger and always brushed it off like it was nothing. Jason could do the same. He was fine. 

He sat at the table quietly trying not to fall asleep and downing his coffee, burning his mouth and throat on the way down. Whatever. It kept him focused. Once finished, he washed and dried the mug putting it back in the cabinet and leaving everything exactly as he left it. Finally walking back to his room, Jason was just too tired to notice Bruce coming out of his office behind Jason, frowning at his back.

A few hours later, Jason had finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep when he was suddenly jerked away by the sound of his alarm. Taking deep breaths, Jason tried to calm himself down. It was his alarm for fuck’s sake. It wasn’t a gunshot or anything. He was fine. 

Heading back down to the kitchen for the second time that day, Jason stopped to look in the mirror and fuck if he didn’t look terrible. Someone was bound to notice that he hadn’t been sleeping. But he didn’t stop to fix his appearance. Maybe someone would help him? Fuck that, Jason snorted, immediately ignoring himself. He’s just fine. There’s nothing to notice. 

Walking into the dining room, Bruce was sitting at the head of the table, too engrossed in his newspaper to notice the plate of delicious food that Alfred had left in front of him let alone to notice Jason walk in. At the other end of the table was Dick, Rachel, and Gar. Dick was annoyingly awake, as he always was in the mornings, watching Gar stack Cheerios on top of Rachel’s head as she dozed over her own cereal with the sort of smile on his face that one could only get watching their own kids. Or, Jason considered, watching their own pseudo-adopted kids.

Not wanting to bother any of the four of them, Jason walked into the kitchen to see that there was already a plate and a mug of coffee sitting out for him.

“Good morning, Master Jason. I trust you slept well?”

Jason grinned, “Aw, c’mon Alfie. How many times I gotta tell you it’s just Jay?”

Alfred sniffed, “Perhaps another time, Master Jason.”

Jason smiled into his coffee, downing half of it all at once before digging into the eggs. How anyone could live without Alfred’s cooking would always be a mystery to Jason. 

“Master Jason, as much as I love your company,” Jason could hear Alfred’s eyebrow being raised, “I must insist that you join Bruce and the others in the dining room in the future.”

“But who would spend the mornings with you, then! I can’t leave you all alone like that.”

“I think we both know that you don’t eat in here with me for my benefit, hmm?”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about there.” Jason’s grin pulled just too wide for comfort. “These eggs are amazing though! Did you do something different with them?”

“They’re the same as they’ve always been, Master Jason.” Alfred turned around to continue cleaning dishes in the sink, thankfully letting the subject drop. Most of the time he was better at pretending to fit in. The mornings though were always just too hard. He could never bring himself to take up space at such an important family meal, the most important meal of the day. 

Turning around, Jason felt his false smile fade away as he watched Dick calm Rachel, who had woken when a cascade of Cheerios had fallen around her head, before turning to quietly chastise Gar about bothering his sort-of sister at the breakfast table. Sighing, Jason found his eggs suddenly much less appetizing than before. 

“Thanks for breakfast, Alfie, but I’d better go shower before I stink up the place too much.” Jason smirked before sauntering away, back upstairs. Alfred turned around to find a mostly full plate of eggs and looked after Jason, eyebrows creasing in a frown. 

Back in his room, Jason laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He kind of wanted to find a book to read but fuck, he was just too tired to get up and find one. He stayed like that for hours, or maybe only a few minutes, until he heard the shrill laughter of Rachel and Gar as Dick chased them up the stairs. 

“Dad–Dad! Stop it, leave me alone–” Rachel shrieked, before dissolving into a fit of giggles. The sound was grating to Jason’s ears. He just wanted them to shut up. He gets it. They’re this cute, picture perfect family. Just like Bruce had taken him in, Dick turned around and taken in two homeless kids who he found on the street. It was so sickening it was like a fucking Hallmark movie for fuck’s sake. Jason knows he doesn’t fit into the Christmas card but having it thrown into his face all the time is just too much. 

Jason pulled a pillow over his head until the noise faded away. 

He just wanted someone to notice him. Was that really too much to ask? Of course it was. He had thought he finally got it, gotten someone who was there for him when Bruce told him he could come back to the manor. But when he finally got there, he’d figured it out. Bruce didn’t want him, he wanted Dick back and Jason was just the closest he could get. 

But now Dick was back so what was Jason supposed to do? Bruce was too nice to just turn around and kick Jason out now that he finally had his real son back and Jason was too weak to leave the manor on his own. He had, for the first time in his life, a place to sleep and eat without ever having to worry and he just couldn’t give that up.

Not unless Bruce made him.

So he’d just wait, existing in this in-between space just outside the real family events until Bruce finally grew a pair and told him that he wasn’t wanted. Until then, Jason would cling to the hope that he could be good enough to have a family of his own. 

Then he had been fucking abducted. As if his own problems weren’t enough for him to deal with, this Deathstroke asshole had kidnapped him to try and get to Dick, like Dick cared about him enough to be hurt by his absence. And the worst part was he hadn’t even been hurt by Wilson. At least, not physically. Sure, he’d been dropped out of a building, but the cops had figured it out and he didn’t even have a bruise to show for his troubles. 

So what if he kept falling every time he closed his eyes? It didn’t matter. Dick was the fucking golden child and he never had a problem with it. Jason wouldn’t either. It’s fine. He’s fine. 

Jason was startled out of his thoughts by a knock on the door as Bruce walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Hey.”

“Um, hey, Bruce. Can I help you with something?” Jason shifted as he sat under Bruce’s stare.

Bruce’s gaze flitted over to the books thrown haphazardly over Jason’s desk, “Read anything lately?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Bruce!” Dick’s voice called distantly. “The kids have got me pinned and I’m totally not feeling the aster right now. I could use a hand, if you’ve got one!”

Bruce stood from Jason’s bed, then hesitated, turning to look at Jason.

“It’s cool, old man. Go hang with your kid and grandkids.” Jason grabbed a book at random from his desk and started reading. “I’m a little busy anyway.” He’d grabbed Hamlet. 

Bruce frowned at Jason but nodded and headed out, closing the door behind him. Jason sighed and put the book down. He just needed a good night’s sleep. Just one. But he couldn’t get it. 

A few weeks later, Jason woke up with a scream. He remembered it this time. He glanced at the clock. 2:14 AM. Jason sighed. Maybe he could get back to sleep tonight. 

Before he could even lay back down, Dick was slamming his door open, baseball bat in hand, eyes wild. 

“Jason?” Dick heaved. “Are you alright?”

“Don’t you worry about me, Dickie. I’m just fine.” Jason smirked at Dick.

“Then why did you scream?” Dick dropped the bat to the floor, leaning against the doorframe. “You really scared the shit out of me.”

“Language, boy wonder. Can’t let the kids hear you talking like that.” 

“Oh, please like they both don’t talk like that when they think I’m not listening.”

Jason shrugged. He couldn’t speak for the wonder twins but he knew he certainly cursed a lot. 

“But seriously, Jay, why’d you scream?” Dick’s voice had gone quiet, pitying. Jason felt the anger rising inside of him.

“I said don’t worry about it, dick,” he spit, “I can take care of myself just fine.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to. Let me help you.”

“I don’t need your help, asshole. I’ve been on my own my whole fucking life and I certainly don’t need you or Bruce trying to do me any fucking favors now. I can deal with my own fucking nightmares.” Jason turned away from Dick to wipe at the tears that were suddenly streaming down his face without his fucking permission but it seemed like that might have been the wrong choice as suddenly his arms were pinned to his sides by Dick, who had enveloped him in a hug. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. How about I just talk?” Dick repositioned himself, pulling Jason back so that the two of them were sitting up against Jason’s headboard next to each other with Dick’s arm across Jason’s shoulders. 

“It was about five years ago,” Dick began quietly, “the first time I met Slade.” Despite his best effort, Jason’s breath caught as the memories of his own time with Deathstroke came rushing back. 

“I was still a cop back then, but I was new to the force and I thought that I could take down anyone. I was young and stupid and overconfident and it led to a lot of bad shit. There was this guy, this assassin, who kept dropping bodies but no one could figure out who he was. So, the file landed on my desk. Donna was my partner, back then, and we started looking into this guy. I’m not sure what happened but we must have been getting close. Not even a week after I had first gotten the case, I got a call from Donna. She was out of it, yelling, crying. Slade had gone after Garth, her fiancé.” Dick shifted, eyes still looking straight ahead. 

“Slade killed him. But he got sloppy. Donna saw him as he was leaving and figured out who he was. But we couldn’t even get close to him. He was like a ghost, just gone. So, Donna and I, we had this bright idea to bring his son in. To get at Slade through his son, Jericho. We led this kid on. He thought we were heroes for trying to take his dad down. But we weren’t. It was personal and we let it get to our heads.” Dick was definitely crying now.

“So when Jericho told us that his dad wanted to meet with him, we told him to go. We told him that we’d put a wire on him and all he had to do was get his dad to confess. Then, we’d move in. But I overestimated the force. I left Jericho alone in there too long and Slade figured it out. By the time SWAT entered the church, Jericho was already dead and Slade was in the wind.” Dick took a shaky breath.

“That’s why Donna left the force and that’s why Slade took you. He blames me for what happened to Jericho because it was my fault and he wanted me to hurt the way he’s hurting. It’s my fault Jason. Everything that happened to you was my fault and I’m so sorry.”

Jason leaned closer to Dick. “I keep falling,” He admitted quietly. “I keep falling and I can’t make it stop.”

“I’m so sorry, Jason.” Dick leaned forward and pulled Jason into an awkward hug that ended with Jason laying back, head underneath Dick’s chin. 

“You know,” Dick continued, “this happened to me a lot, since I was always such a target for kidnappers.”

“What do you mean? I thought you were like this perfect kid or something.” Jason exclaimed quietly, trying not to break the atmosphere. 

“You kidding me, kid? I am the most fucked up person in the world and it all started when I was little. I’ve been seeing this great therapist for a while. Her name’s Dinah and she’s really great. If you’re not too against it, I think you should give it a try.”

“I dunno, Dick. Therapy isn't really my thing–”

“Just give it a try. For me. Please, Jay?”

Jason sighed. “I guess going once might not be too bad,” He conceded. 

Dick dropped a kiss on the top of Jason’s head and a warm feeling spread through Jason’s whole body. He could feel how red his face was as he squirmed against Dick, who at least had the good grace not to mention it. 

“Um, Dick,” Jason started. Dick hummed against his head, eyes closed. “If Slade wanted to hurt you, why would he take me?”

Dick’s eyes snapped open, “What –”

“I mean,” Jason continued hurriedly, “like, why not Rachel or Gar? They obviously mean a lot more to you than I do and–”

“Jason, what the actual fuck?” Dick cut him off.

“You know–”

“No, Jason, I absolutely do not fucking know. You’re my little brother. Yeah, Rachel and Gar are my kids and my relationship with them is different from my relationship with you but I love you so, so much.”

“Dick, I don’t need you to baby me–”

“Jason, I really need you to shut up for just a second.” Dick squeezed his eyes closed for a moment and when he opened them, he was crying again. “You are so important to me, Jason. And I have no idea what I would do if something happened to you. I would do absolutely anything to get you back. I nearly lost my head those days you were gone because I was so worried about you. You’re my little brother and I know that you don’t need me to take care of you, that you don’t need me to be your big brother, but that doesn’t change the fact that I will always be here for you, no matter what.”

Jason was crying now, too.

“I’m so sorry for whatever it is that I did to make you feel like I don’t care about you but I cannot think of anything that’s further from the truth. Slade took you because he knew how much I love you and he knew that not having you with me would hurt. And it did. And I won’t ever lose you again, baby bird.” 

Dick pulled Jason even closer to him and Jason felt his warm tears falling onto his hair. The pair fell asleep like that, with Jason curled up small against Dick’s chest. 

Rachel came up the next morning to check on them. If she happened to take a picture of the brothers …. Well, what’s a little blackmail among family?


End file.
